without

I want to have an easy conscience. Without polluting thought. Without arrow which drilling my heart. Now i'm live alone, with my stories. I am in love with someone but this guy is far from me. I am french so apologizing my faults... How can I love somebody without source of inspiration, passion for something, without a lively look...? i don't know... When i see a man who is playing piano, who goes on stage, yes this is it ! I need to admire a man, and give him lot of love. but today, i love a man and i disdain him.. And today, i am ready for make a long trip to life. S.